A Fond Farewell to 2008

I can't believe it is the end of 2008. Now, i know that a great many people are probably saying the same thing... and its not like 2008 is only over for me and not the rest of humanity... but SERIOUSLY. I can't believe it. In true Carly tradition... before I get ready for the rest of my evening... here is my ode to 2008!

2008 was a little bit sad:
-Lloyd the family dog died. Really, I was shocked he made it out of 2007... but STILL it was sad.
-I didn't go to Brazil this year. BOOOOOOOOO!!!! (2 years in a row- I miss my friends!)
-I had hard times with some of life... which is not uncommon, but I believe could have been avoided.
-I STILL didn't get to Alaska!
-My New Year's gift for Nickolas just broke coming out of the oven... sorry Nick... no stand up snowman cake this year... boo!

2008 was AMAZING!!
-I went on a GREAT trip to the Dominican Republic... GREAT!
-I canoed the Boundary Waters... which stands out as the highlight of what was a truly amazing summer!
-I drove over 3000 miles in a rental 12 passenger van... in JULY... and it was TOTALLY worth it.
-Minnesota, Arkansas, and everywhere in between... BLISS.
-Heifer Ranch changed my outlook.
-Tar Hollow was finally great again...
-Nashville. Good times.
-Hanging out in trees, coffee shops, the radio station and assorted other places with amazing friends.
-Nickolas makes me LAUGH every time I see him.
-My family drives me absolutely INSANE... but I still have a great one.
-NEW PUPPY... Nellie and Shea running crazy in the backyard makes me smile.
-I finished my grad classes... again!
-My friends at the YMCA got me back on track (even though I have temporarily lost it again, I KNOW they will help me find it again after the new year!)
-I have a job that I love and that continuously reminds me of who I am and want to be...
-so much more I can't write it all!


So, yes 2008 had its downs... but it had so many ups too. I am SO blessed.... and what an amazing thing it is to know that 2009 looms ahead with endless possibilities and choices and good and bad and wonderful and beautiful and hard and challenging all mixed up inside. Who knows what may be in 2009? I can't wait to find out!

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!

Sorry... that's all I got today, but its been a while so I thought I should say something... I know... such an original thing to say!

I am off to get ready for the family service at church... I am trying to embrace this evening... it's Christmas eve... its one of my favorite times of the whole year... that hour in between the 8:30 and 11 pm services... sitting with friends... embracing the Christmas moments. I am sure that it is somehow connected to the love I have for the quiet moments of the Easter prayer vigil. Quiet... slow... not about anything spectacular or flashy... not about my family or my sister or decorations or some "show" we are putting on. For an hour Kim, Darryl, and I will eat blueberry pancakes in the kitchen at the church and think about the beauty of Christmas and friendship.

Today I am having a hard day... its actually been more than a few in a row. I want to be positive and happy and embrace Christmas this year... but instead I am angry and hurt and frustrated.

I want to embrace the "gospel in miniature" (hee hee hee Kim!), but today I don't know if I have it in me. I don't want today to be about ME... I want it to be all about the birth of Christ. It would be my prayer that tonight be not about any of us... that it be simply about simplicity and living a life of passion...

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL.

Nasville, Thanksgiving, and general slacker-ness

Why am I so easily distracted? Or is it that I am not at all easily motivated? Whatever the problem is... I have been at work nearly 2 hours and I have accomplised almost nothing. Of course, its not helping that I have had constant interruptions from the minute I got here... but that's just me... blaming it on someone else!! So intstead of working on writing advent lessons for the children or figuring how much of what I need to make caramels, cookies, and cinnamon rolls by the MILLION next weekend... I am going to update the old blog... you know... the important things in life!!

**On a side note, last night I had a dream. I was at work here at the church, in the office with all the usual people, but everyone was speaking non-stop portuguese. Weirdest thing ever. But they didn't understand portuguese, they were just talking and no one knew what was going on. I am not sure if this is a reflection of the fact that I feel no one knows what the heck is ever going on around here or the fact that i need to take a trip to Brazil. Hmmmm.

OK. SO, Nashville. I went to the National Youth Workers Convention in Nashville the weekend before Thanksgiving. I had an AMAZING trip. Seriously. This year some friends doing ministry up in Sidney, Ohio decided to let me travel and stay with them which was GREAT. We had lots of laughs and learned a lot too. One of my favorite people, Shane Claiborne spoke once on the main stage and once in a seminar. I love the things that he has to say and am always challenged by his commitment to truly living the way Jesus calls us to live... specifically around caring for and loving the poor. I also got to hear some great things from the main stage that focused on social justice issues and the calling we have as the church to love and care for EVERY person as Jesus did. Like it... like it alot. I was also challenged by Mark Yaconneli and the things he had to say about the "dark night of the soul" and got a book about that that I think is going to continue to challenge and encourage me... I even boosted it to near the top of my "books to read" pile... which is about 35 deep now!!

Anyhoo. Nashville was lots of fun... and I was blessed to spend time with people who helped me enjoy it more than any other NYWC I've been to! Here's to Cincinnati next year friends!

SO. Then I came home and TOTALLY flaked on work for 2 days before Thanksgiving. Like... I just didn't go in. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. I felt bad for about 3 1/2 seconds each day. I really needed the break. 2 days in 2 years is not much of a vacation!! Thanksgiving was uneventful and normal at the Schneider house. Kristin, Rich, and Nickolas came by and we did the usual... eating... throwing the football around the house and breaking things, chasing the puppies... eating... ya know. Abby came home for the weekend so I got to have a great coffee with her at the Night Sky on Friday morning and helped decorate my mom's church for Advent on Saturday... followed by lunch with Dawn... not to be missed!

On Sunday I went to Sidney with 6 of the kids to hear Jay Gamelin speak. He was our keynoter at Tar Hollow last summer and he led another great and challenging worship time. I was amazed at the way he remembered our kids and was so kind and encouraging to them. After the fall that the SG kids have had, it was a blessing to them... and he was a great encouragement to me as well. (Just remember... when all else fails, order pizza! Thanks, Jay!).

So there you have it... an extremely involved and long post about pretty much nothing. Now i am back in the office, hardly working, and holding on tight for the roller coaster that is Advent, combined with getting ready for the new year.

Argh! Ahhh!

I am blessed.

Back at work

Soon to come I will give you a little update of my time in Nashville last weekend/week. WHat a blast. So much laughter, so much learning... and lots of challenging things were said. A good week.

Soon updates... for now.. WORK!

Happy Birthday to me..

Yesteday was my birthday.

It was my plan as I started my 32nd year of life to cut back on some things and try to be "healthier" in the new year.

Last night this is what sat on my dresser...

Oh well. I guess there's always next year. =)

Poverty

Today is Blog Action Day. I have been participating for the last couple of years, so all of my 3 readers can listen to my thoughts on the topic at hand. This year's topic is Poverty. Here's what I have to say about that...

This morning I got up in my nice comfortable bed. I had a REALLY hard time getting up... which is not all that unusual!... I went downstairs and played with the puppy... I spent some time loving on Nellie... I went upstairs and took a nice hot shower. Then.... much dreaded... I came into work and spent the morning catching up on e-mail and the latest happenings. Then Kim and I went to El Toro for lunch. I LOVE A GOOD MEXICAN MEAL. Then spent time at the Y... which always MUST follow a mexican meal! Now I am getting ready to head home from the office to spend some time with the family and have dinner.

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

Last night the youth spent time working on their latest Bible study called: The Justice Mission. It is an AWESOME study on human trafficking, modern day slavery, loving what God loves and hating what God hates. It is a 4 week study we have been working on for about 6. They are wrestling with some pretty heavy stuff. Last night they spent a lot of time talking about mission trips they have been on and what it means to truly remember. What the quote means (and this is not exact people!) that "the greatest danger in the world is not the evil people, it is the good people who do nothing."

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

Sure I spent some time working on mission trip related things... but I didn't even really consider anything but how far away it is and what age you have to be to attend.

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

I have seen some extremely impoverished places. I have shared meals with people who hadn't eaten in days or weeks. I have been inside one room metal and wood shacks that house families of 6 or more. I have seen children beg on the street. I have seen people dying of starvation and exposure. I know people who have lost everything to hurricanes and floods. I have held babies that have so little hope for the future.

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

When do you get to the point where it doesn't matter to you? It does matter. It matters to me a lot. I hate that people are suffering in a world where I have more than I will ever need. I hate that children die and people suffer because of the way I choose to live.

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

And that's really the problem isn't it. Its not the evil people in the world, its the good ones with good intentions and broken hearts who do nothing.

I want to be part of the generation that does something. I want to see people live. I want to see people eat and sleep in adequate homes and have adequate and clean drinking water. I want to see men and women paid fairly for the work that they do and children in school.

Today I didn't think about poverty at all.

And I am completely ashamed of that.

Thinking

I have been thinking a lot lately that I should take off all of my blog posts that are less than positive and I have been told that it seems like I am always unhappy with things in my life...

Then I decided not to. I decided that I should leave them up there. I am not unhappy necessarily and although I usually live at a rather hectic pace, I enjoy my life. There are times when I get really worked up and stressed... and it seems like those are the times I choose to blog. I could apologize for that, but really... that's a big part of who I am!

Things in life today are good, but somewhat overwhelming. I am tired of moving pumpkins and spending time in the office... but I am enjoying fall and right now, although its a fragile balance, I feel like with some effort I can keep this boat afloat!

Life. Craziness seems to follow me wherever I go. Things change quickly that are beyond my control. I am learning to let go of the things that I cannot change, which is a struggle for me, seeing as how I tend to be a PERFECTIONIST. I am learning to live my life and not just go with the flow.

It seems at my advanced age that I would have already known these things... but I don't! SO I am learning.

Things are changing and big possibilities loom. Struggles much bigger than me stand in the way... but I know it will all come out the way it should.

Tuesday....

Temper Tantrum Time

So. Today I am wondering if 31 is too old to throw a temper tantrum. Seriously.

When you are two years old and something doesn't go the way you think it should, you cry a bit, throw yourself on the floor, and kick your legs. It's immature, parents get really embarassed about it... its not pretty. If I ever have children, I am not sure I would want them to throw temper tantrums (although I am fully aware that all children do it, I am sure my children will be perfect and never embarrass me! Hahahahaa!)

But there is a bit of beauty in the temper tantrum. I mean... it definitely gets it out there that the kid is upset! There is no confusion about what is angering them, they definitely make it clear exactly how unhappy they are... and then... they get up, they pout about it for a while... but they get up. They don't get their way, they don't have things turn out the way they expect, but they get up.... and although I am fully aware that most children don't just turn off the anger... they don't hold onto it for days on end either. They might be angry for a while... teary and huffy... but they move on, realizing that you can't always win and sometimes the powers that be get to make decisions for them.

I wish I was not too old for a temper tantrum. I wish that I could throw myself on the floor of my office and kick and scream a bit and that would be all it would take for me not to be angry anymore. Somehow that act of flopping on the floor would allow me to see that I can't always win and no matter how much I want to or think that things are unjust... this is not a battle I can win. Then I would get up. I would get up and get back to work and focus more on the things that I love and the things that are important and less on the things that make me mad or don't go my way.

I think I need a good temper tantrum.

Usually I love the fall. Usually I spend lots of days at camp and sitting in the trees and I get the frustrations out and don't face them. With camp being shut down the last few weeks (and not running the course a couple other weeks) I don't have that outlet. The stress and anger I have at my work and my family and my life is building and building. It is making me more and more edgy and frustrated. I want life to be easy and simple (those are not the same thing!). I want to just LIVE... like I do sitting in my tree or how I felt canoeing in July. I want to be free from the anger and frustration.

I have realized that perhaps as much as I like the way that spending the weekends at camp allows me to decompress... it isn't the healthiest way... since I never deal with the issues, I just pretend they don't exist at 35 feet up.

So I want to throw a temper tantrum....
but more importantly I want to be healthy again.

hmmmmmm.

I am trying to be more positive. TRYING. SO... yeah... I'm working on it.

It seems like there is not lots new to report... super busy with lots going on at the church and at home... hoping camp will reopen this weekend (pick up those trees already!!).... being sad that my puppy is growing so very fast!!

Things are good... just busy... and I am hoping that a few little messy bits fall into place soon... but you know... it wouldn't be me if there wasn't some drama!!

Onwards to write curriculum.... another week....

New Puppy!

So.... over the weekend I got a new puppy!!! He is the CUTEST thing ever! Well... the cutest thing since Nellie anyway!!

He has the worst name EVER... His name is Shea. OK. Reality time. Shea doesn't actually belong to me. He belongs to my parents. They got him from a lab rescue in Dayton. He and his brothers were rescued about a month ago when their parents were found sick. Now, my dad is a HUGE New York Mets fan. HUGE. The Mets stadium in New York is being torn down after this season and my dad REALLY wants to buy some of the seats. They are like $800 for 2, so needless to say, that's not going to happen! He would REALLY like to paint his office mets orange. He talks about it all the time. My mom is BIG time against that (understandably!!). SO, in a compromise, my dad named the dog Shea for Shea Stadium and he is not allowed to buy seats or paint any rooms blue or orange.

Anyway, because he is cute and little and I am a girl who LOVES A PUPPY... I claim that he is mine!!!

SO. Shea it is. Honestly... the CUTEST PUPPY IN THE WORLD. Nellie hates him... but he's getting over it!! He is a black lab and chocolate lab mix.... and one of his back paws is white. (Nellie's front paws are white). Awwww. Cute little puppy!!

Just thought I would share!

Tar Hollow is GREAT!!

SO... in a fitting end to what has been one heck of a crazy summer, I spent last week at Tar Hollow Christian Adventure Camp. Ahhh... Tar Hollow. I am the first to admit that most of the year I struggle with my desire to go to camp. It's not that I don't love it, it's not that the people aren't GREAT and the week isn't fun... it's just that... there is so much DRAMA at camp... and usually, after an exhausting summer schedule I just don't have it in me to really enjoy the time.

THis year I headed to camp with a little bit of extra trepidation because some of my favorite people were not coming to camp for a variety of reasons. I got to camp and hung out in the back parking lot because I wasn't really sure how everything was going to work out and I was still feeling a bit... out of it.

Alas. Looking at it now I would say that of my 10 years spent at Tar Hollow, this was the 2nd best one ever. I only put it second because i don't clearly remember the early 90s when I was there as a high schooler! It may have been the best year ever!

Our keynoter was GREAT... I had good conversations with so many people I can't count. I enjoyed sitting in the back of the lodge on my camp chair talking for hours and late into the night. I got to know people I have crossed paths with for years but never connected with. As much as I love my friends who were unable to be there this year, I felt like not having them there freed me to get to know other people in new ways. I missed them, I hope they return next year, but I feel like my "Tar Hollow World" is much bigger now in such a great way! I enjoyed my youth and spending time with them. We even had a Sulphur Grove ORGANIZED volleyball team that played as part of the organized brackets. SERIOUSLY. I stayed up late, I slept in until it was almost too late, I drank LOTS of vanilla caramel tea, I ate LOTS of good food and LOTS of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. I painted lots of bags, prayed with lots of kids, and laughed WAY too hard about the awkwardness of the YMCA locker room.

I can say that I had been praying lots before I went that I would be peaceful in my time there... and I can say that that is how I really felt. I wasn't remotely tempted to leave camp for a "sanity break" as I usually have to on Tuesday... I barely thought about the fact that I was missing the Olympics (which STRESSED ME OUT before I left!)... I spent NO time thinking about drama at my job.... I spent NO time whining about camp leadership or wishing things would change. I was able to voice my opinions and feel like they were heard because I was peaceful enough to look at them without the negativity that usually clouds me at TH.

Now Tar Hollow '08 is just a memory. It went so quickly I feel like I wasn't even there... but I was so richly blessed by it. Ahhhh... Tar Hollow....

Now I am back at the office, back in the drama, back to trying to get things to work out... trying to put life together... but here I am none the less... blessed by an amazing summer, making decisions for the future, and trying to hold onto at least a bit of that peacefulness.

Ahhhh.... summer.

Enough

Yesterday I was visiting somewhere that I have been DESPERATELY trying to cut back on. I have been fairly successful… but sometimes the allure of a caramel frappucino is more than even I can handle!! Hahaha!

Anyway… yesterday I stopped in at my favorite local Starbucks and saw a quote on the wall. It said:

Proposal for a well lived day: The best days go the fastest. Keep up.

Ah. So true a statement. It is August. Time for another week at Tar Hollow. (My 10th year, by the way… I am SO OLD!). It is hard to believe how quickly the summer has gone. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we went camping at John Bryant? Wasn’t it this morning that I woke up in my tent in Minnesota or this afternoon that I was two years old in the Global Village? At the same time it seems like Power Lab VBS at Sulphur Grove was a lifetime ago and it has been years since the spring party.

Truly the summer has passed much too quickly and after next week at camp all my youth will head back to school, some of my favorite people will move away to college… and I dive head first into a whole mess of planning for the new school year.

It feels like this summer was full of “best days”. There were lots of difficult ones too… ones that were HOT or frustrating or exhausting. There were days that tried my patience and tested my resolve. But there were so many that went so fast. So many days in beautiful and amazing places. SO many in places that were filled with laughter… and sweat… and tears. There were days that I got to the end of and my ONLY thought was… I can’t believe this is my life… so many “best days”.

How do I sum it up? Do I mention the things I learned? The ways that I learned to live simply or experience nature or build a deck or breathe deeply? Do I tell you that I learned more about myself in 4 weeks in July than I have learned in 4 years? Do I tell you that this summer I met people who challenged me to change my thinking, to not settle for what everyone expects, and to truly LIVE? DO I tell you that this summer I spent time with people who made me think? Made me laugh? Made me cry? How do you put into words that in a brief 2 months the way I think has changed, the way I want to live has changed, the person I want to be has changed?

Do I admit that I have laughed harder about holes in the bottom of my iced tea cup or the youth boys uncontrollable need to pass gas than was even remotely appropriate? DO I admit that some of the best moments of my entire summer were found at a campsite on Lake One where I slept and read for hours on a rock pile? Do I admit that I cried more this summer from heartbreak and disappointment that I would have ever imagined was possible? Do I admit that this summer frustrated me in ways that are still making me reevaluate who I am?

Would I share that this summer I learned the difference between priority and urgency? That I see the difference between being and LIVING? That I both met and walked away from people who I value more than some people I have known my whole life?

Would I tell you that it still makes me laugh? That it still makes me dream? That it still makes me cry? Would I admit that I found both my emotional and my peaceful side this summer? Would I say I found myself this summer losing the person I was… all the while having no idea of the person I was becoming?

The best days go the fastest. Keep up.

Could it be that I still have a few MORE weeks of summer… a few more weeks with people that I love? Its off to camp in the morning… to try and LIVE not just BE.

Its me… trying to keep up…. And being blissfully unaware of where the ride may end, but content with wherever it takes me.

God is good!
Thank you… tchau!

For Lloyd

On Friday, Lloyd, the family dog died. He was 13 and really sick. (This picture was taken LONG ago, which is pretty obvious since my Nellie is now HUGE. It is also from when Nellie and Lloyd actually liked each other instead of Lloyd just tolerating him!) Anyway, Lloyd joined the family just as I was moving to Anderson for college and he wasn't always my favorite dog. He was a good one though. He was BEST friends with my Harry and when Harry died he tolerated Nellie. He was a faithful companion and really LOVED spending time with my dad. SO, I just thought I would give a little shout out to Lloyd... who was a good dog, even though I didn't always give him credit for it. It's weird that after 13 years he isn't there anymore.... and Nellie sure does miss him. SO Lloyd... thanks for being a good dog!! We miss you!!

Home from the Ranch

Well, its hard to believe... but it is Monday, July 28th... and that means that after months of planning and praying and working and organizing, both of this summer's youth mission trips have ended. Now its time for an update of the most recent one!



The youth and I spent last week at Heifer Ranch in Perryville, Arkansas. It was HOT. 105 degree heat index HOT. BUT... we learned a LOT, worked hard, and laughed hard! Here are some photos of our most recent travels (with my thoughts on the time we spent on the ranch coming soon!!)



On the way to Arkansas, the Sulphur Grove kids and I stopped at the Garden of the Gods in southern Illinois... which was AMAZING. Here are the kids on top of the rocks!

THe youth climbed out on this pile immediately after I took the picture... far away from me and close to the edge... no wonder I have so much gray hair!!

Then it was on to the Ranch, where we spent our week working, learning, and serving. We had a great time but also had a lot of opportunities to really evaluate our lives, our global impact, and the idea that there is enough for everyone, but not everyone has enough. It was an AMAZING week.

Our night in the global village was spent divided between two places. Half our group (and I with them) spent the night in the large Thailand house. There were a lot of us in a small space, but we were BLESSED to spend the night in such good conditions... especially since... The other part of our group spent the night in the Urban Slum, sleeping on the brick floor. THey did a great job, but I know it was hard on them!

Afterwards there was much of what has become a theme for the summer... getting inked! (I must say... you girls need to work on your tans! Look at my feet compared to yours!! OH wait... that might be dirt....)

At the end of our time on the ranch we took one last group shot... and headed back north...

Where we quite inappropriately had lunch at Lambert's Cafe (home of the throwed rolls)... and all of us struggled with the amount of waste we produced after our week of minimizing our impact! It was a GREAT meal... but it came with some guilt... which is not really a bad thing!

Finally, and creepy, we found out what happens when a water buffalo is badly behaved on the ranch! Apparently the staff had water buffalo burgers for MONTHS... and his head, well, the bugs are still working on that one!!

Remember to be nice to others folks...and enjoy the sunset... and be thankful for all that you have... and remember... we are all responsible for each other! Find a way to make a difference!

Simplicity

Sometimes I wonder why life has to be so complicated. I know... who doesn't.... but sometimes I really do wonder when it happened that I got so caught up in life that I forgot how to just live. I love my life, I really do. There are parts of it that frustrate me or that I wish I could change. There are things that I do that I wish I didn't. There are things that I wish I did more!

Two weeks ago now I had the most amazing experience. (which is detailed in the next blog down). I got to spend 3 nights in the Boundary Waters of Minnesota. I have wanted to canoe in the Boundary Waters for what seems like forever. I even have a "life list" of things that I want to do and it is on there. I really wasn't prepared for it though, I have to admit. I really wasn't prepared for the experience itself or what has happened since.

My decision to canoe with the boys group was hard at first. Kim would do either and I had to choose. I chose the boys because I don't spend nearly enough time with them and because I was pretty sure that having my own tent during the trip would be WAY better than sharing one! Shallow reason, I know. Anyway, it was a very good decision for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is the chance to spend 3 1/2 uninterrupted days bonding with the boys... in the wilderness.... um, yeah. Jason, our guide, and now one of my favorite people, was my canoe partner... we had many a good discussion while paddling ourselves through the lakes. We talked about life and love and living and learning and growing and changing and lots of other deep things that our teenage counterparts were too busy whining to discuss. We also had many a good non-discussion. That sounds weird but I was so blessed to have time to sit and think (while my scalp got really sunburned I'll add!) while enjoying the scenery and time with God. I don't think Jason knows what a blessing it was to me to be his canoe partner... so Jason, thank you!

At the end of every portage, every night while watching the sunset, while we paddled around, while we sat and talked... I always said "It is so pretty" or "Wow, beautiful." I think (I know!) that the boys got sick of hearning it. Truly though, that is how I felt. Not just about the scenery... about the whole experience. SOmetimes I am amazed at my own lack of ability to express appreciation for the situation.

There are things to be said, though... things to be thought and expressed about the lessons I learned in the BWCA and at Ko-Wa-Kan, and after leaving. There are things to be said about being humble, and amazed. About living life simply and passionately.

Things to be said about everything you need to live being in your canoe (on the water) or on your back (at the portage). Things to be said about the view from the side of my tent at the beginning of another day. Things to be said about living life.

But I lack the words to express all of that. I lack the ability to put into words the passion that I want to see back in my life. I lack the ability to express my immense desire for simplicity in my life, for viewing the world and my impact on it for what it can be and not what I am settling for. I lack the ability to express my desire to live differently and experience all that God has out there for me.

So, I can't... and I won't. But that's my heart right now. There you have it.

Minnesota....

Last night I sat with a few of the youth who traveled with me to Minnesota for the last couple of weeks. We were having dinner outside on what could be the last nice, cool night for a while.

Then it occured to me that we are back from Minnesota. We have come home to Ohio and it is all a memory now. CRAZY. We talked for months and months about our trip. We dreamed and worried and planned and prepared. It suddenly hit me that our great Minnesota adventure has happened. So much of it lived up to our expectations and dreams, so much of it took us by surprise. We succeeded and failed, we put our hearts into it and quit on it, we worked hard and played hard, we laughed, we cried... I admit there were even a few swear words. We traveled for hours in the big white van, in yellow canoes, and on our own feet. We saw parts of the country that amazed us, humbled us, and changed us. I wish I could do our time justice in some articulate fashion. But I can't. INstead, here are some photos of our trip.

On the second day of our drive to MN we stopped at Gooseberry Falls on the shore of Lake Superior. It was AMAZING!! Carly and Meg tried to cross the river before Kim stopped them an pointed out a "safer" path!



These are the boys that I canoed with (along with our friend Jason... ok, guide, but we think of him as our friend now!)

Each afternoon the boys would try to convince me to swim at our campsite. The water was COLD though!! And even though I had every intention of getting in each day... it was my little entertainment piece to have them beg, plead, and try to get me in... it was COLD!! And Carlys hate being cold!! Here is Daniel swimming at our first campsite.

We also had the most beautiful sunset view on our first evening out. Actually every evening had a great one... but this one also made a beautiful picture!

After canoeing we headed to Mound, MN outside Minneapolis and Camp Kingswood. Our base for our week of working with 2 other church youth groups.

In Lyndale, MN there is a church that we drove by nearly every day on our way to the work site... it had the oddest sign.
This is one of the work teams from Kingswood... they worked HARD on the same house all week, while most groups switched at least twice.

Carly and I got a Carly and Carly shot over an odd (and colorless!) dinner one night. Love my Carly!! (although I clearly have the better tan... shhhhH!)

Ahhhh... Minnesota! You treated us well, and kicked our butts. You hated us and loved us and made us crazy. You don't always pave your roads, but you give them all names. Your people were some of the nicest and most loving we have ever met, even though an awful lot of them laughed at us. You have a Starbucks in most every Target... which saved many a youth from the wrath of Carly. Your Caribou Coffee really isn't our favorite, but the hoof mints are darn good. We got all "tatted" up when we came to visit... and brought home some very decorative skin.

Minnesota... we love you and also kind of hate you. We are blessed and forever changed by the time we spent with you. We will always remember you!! And hopefully soon we will meet up with you again!!

Workin it at WYSO...

So. I never thought I would be this kind of person... but today I realized I am. Through an off comment that Kim made I realized that I fall into this grouping.... I have a real job and a fun job. I love my job. I think it is pretty sweet and I love my kids (I will love it a lot more next week canoeing the BOundary Waters I think!).... but I don't always enjoy it. There is way too much junk and drama that goes with it. I love it... but if I took a break from it for a while it would be OK!

Then I have my fun job. Kim says: "At least in your fun job you get to climb trees." Ahh yes... my fun job. Climbing trees and zipping off zip lines. THAT is a fun job. Even better is that since it is not something that I do full time I get to avoid all the general crap that goes on (I still get sucked in a little... I am a sucker for good drama... plus its that GIRL SCOUTS... that joint is ALL drama!!) I am a big fan of my fun job... and the general junk at my real job make me appreciate it even more... plus I get to be outside, occasionally sleep in a tent... oh, and that helmet I wear... that thing is AWESOME! (not!)

Today I went with Kim to her fun job. She is a fill in dj for WYSO when the regular mid-day host is away. SO. I got to appreciate my local NPR station, which I hadn't done much lately... AND I got to hang out in the radio room... AND I got to push "dump" a bunch when the music that we played had some not so promising lyrics. All in all it was fun to go with her and it was fun to see what life at Yellow Spring's NPR station is like.

And it was nice to remember why I love my fun job... and my real one!

Logan turns One!

It's been a while... but I finally found my camera battery charger so I could get the pictures off my camera... and I have pics of Logan's first birthday party up in Cleveland on June 14th. So... here's the little guy I promised a picture of...

And... if it works (which it may not!) here is Logan giving me a little lecture...

Funnel Cake Friday

I have always been a big fan of the funnel cake. I mean, really, I'm from Ohio. Ohio is ALL about the festival... and festivals are ALL about the food. By my calculations... the best festival food is a nice, slightly undercooked, slightly over sugared funnel cake. On Friday I spent the evening with my friend Carrie (and some new friends that I made along the way!) in the funnel cake booth at the Ascension Church Festival. Here we go...

This is Carrie and I as the fun was getting started. OK, so I was already a bit greasy from standing over the frying table... but whatever... I surely wasn't as covered in batter as I ended up!!

Carrie is a master funnel cake pourer. She makes quite the lovely and tasty funnel cake. It was a learning curve for me... but she taught me well!

I always tell people that I am a special kind of lazy. Like, the kind of lazy that REALLY wants to get things DONE. This is one of the fryers I was working... BEFORE I figured out how to fit FIVE funnel cakes in at a time. Impressive, eh?

So. You can tell that what we lacked in consistency of size we made up for in Zack's excitement to COVER the place in powdered sugar. Ahhh... Funnel Cakes!

After a bit more than 5 hours frying up the goods I must admit. Funnel cakes are STILL darn good. I had to work at camp on Saturday (including lightning and hail while sitting on my platform at 30 feet. SERIOUSLY) and at church on Sunday so I didn't get to return to the festival... but I look forward to funnel cake Friday again in about a year. MMmmmmmm!

Logan's First Birthday

Hey all. Just wanted to let you know that it is nearly my nephew Logan's first birthday.

CRAZY.

My sister's blog hasn't been updated in a LONG time since her internet access is down... BUT... I am fully intending to post some pics of his birthday party there on Monday when I get back from Cleveland... and recover from the first day of Vacation Bible School.

So, you can check out pics on Monday by clicking the link to the left which is Updates from the Greens!

Annual Conference Week

Ahhh. For the first day in weeks it is not 90 degrees. There is a nice breeze blowing in my office window and the air is not humid and gross. Gotta love a good Tuesday afternoon!!

This week is Annual Conference for the West Ohio Conference of the United Methodist Church. That means that the pastors and some other folks have headed up north to Lakeside to do the annual business of the church.

Here I sit in the office.

Every year people ask my why I don't go to Lakeside. I am sure there are many reasons, but I mostly don't go because I don't have to. Only Elders and deacons and lay delegates HAVE to go. I know they do some good teaching and they make some significant decisions... but being as how I am just a lay person working for the church I don't have a requirement to be there. And I like it. I like it because for this week I get to be in my office pretty much on my own... I get to get lots of work done and finally clean the camping gear and the youth house. I get to come in a bit later to work (and stay later- I promise!) and I get to just have peace... which is not something that is common in the youth house.

I love Annual Conference Week.
Of course.... I am not going to get EVERYTHING done, so if I could have another one next week that would be GREAT! Yes, please!

We'll call it a problem...

I think I have a problem. It looks like this:


Ok... really, they weren't both for me. But seriously. I LOVE CARAMEL FRAPPUCINOS. The silver lining is that I REALLY don't like using disposable cups... and my travel mug clearly won't work for frappucinos. They don't have a non-disposable option as of yet. Also, I can't drink warm coffee on hot afternoons... and I am too lazy to get to work early in the mornings... so my starbucks days may be cutting back for the summer. HOwever, this is proof that I do in fact have a problem.

Satan, I name you the Caramel Frappucino.
hahahahahahaha

Memorial Day Weekend... YEAH!

I love Memorial Day Weekend.

My love of the holiday is fairly recently acquired I admit. Not being particularly patriotic I have never fully appreciated the holiday weekend. NOw, I fully admit that I don't love it now for quite the right reasons, but I love it none the less. I recently came to the realization (quite late in the game, I admit!) that Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of summer. AND I LOVE SUMMER. Therefore, I LOVE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. It is now officially acceptable to wear flip flops every day, sleep in my tent, and drive with my sunroof open. I have been doing those things anyway, but now America sees fit to recognize those things as OK... and I like it!

So, the last couple of years I have immensely enjoyed the Memorial Day weekend. This year was, once again, a great weekend. THe kind of weekend that REALLY makes you hate Tuesday. So, I decided to capture it in photos... here we go!

Saturday I worked at camp all day for Challenge Day. I worked with John, which was GREAT... not only because he is a VERY good facilitator but because what he likes to do on the course compliments what I like to do... so he belays and I climb and send people off the zip line.. and all is well. Thanks John! Saturday started with my new(ish) Starbucks travel mug courtesy of Carrie. It always gets to take a trip to camp when I go... usually filled with a Cinnamon Dolce Latte... NICE! Here it is with my platform in the background.. (THANKS AGAIN CARRIE!)

After some time with my morning coffee in the sunlight on the old swing platform, I did set up and packed the rescue bag... which took FOREVER... during which Cirstie took this delightful shot of me that I promised to put on my facebook, but this will have to do!

All that effort resulted in quite the nice rescue knot and such, so I thought I should document my fine work for all posterity. Nice knot... go me! (And praise the Lord, not put into use once again!)

After my amazing day in the sun on the challenge course I headed home, watched a movie and chilled... always a good choice! Then on Sunday I taught Children's Ministry (*kinda) and "worked out" with Kim. After purchasing a GREAT new pair of flip flops (as though that was needed... nope!) I headed to the lake to spend 2 days with my sister and her family. They were spending the weekend at the lake with their new boat and camper... and I must admit... it was a good time had by all! Ok, maybe not so much Duke, but Nickolas did keep a tight hold of him!

Finally it was home to Vandalia where I got the chance to see Katie McGrady-Weed and baby Vincent as they were flying home to CHarlotte. (Note to you all... I live 3 minutes from the Dayton Airport if you are in the neighborhood!) And cookie baking for today's Bible Study dinner. (I was too lazy for cookie sheets and did bars instead!)

Ahhh... Memorial Day weekend... just what I needed!!!

It's TRUE

On Monday night I successfully completed THE major milestone for the MONTH of MAY. When May started I didn't even realize that it was one of my tasks.. but it was... and with the help of Kim on Sunday afternoon and then my dad on Sunday night (to correct all of our afternoon errors), I went to work on Monday evening...

AND I FINISHED PUTTING THE GRILL TOGETHER. Seriously. It was a HUGE accomplishment. Of course, I did slam my left hand fingers in the lid... and they are not feeling so great still today (grill lids are HEAVY!)... but IT IS FINISHED!!

The youth house officially has the nicest thing we have ever owned... its all in one piece... and miraculously I am a decent griller! I cooked burgers and dogs for Bible Study dinner last night and for the first time EVER they were actually well cooked.

As it turns out a decent grill greatly increases one's chances of a decent food coming off of it.

It's Wednesday, the sun is shining, and I feel I have accomplished something for the week!! Guess I better get on to doing my actual job!!!

May

I am getting a little stressed out by the calendar again. Seriously. May... does it to me every time.
THis past weekend we had the youth rummage sale. (Which was a HUGE success once again, even if it was EXHAUSTING.) The big mound of stuff left over is under a big green tarp in the church yard. I call it our turtle. I probaby need to figure out what to do with it soon! We also had our Church Spring Party, with inflatables, games, lots of food, and a BBQ. The only technicality is that I bought a new grill about 3 hours before the party. The man at Lowes told me it would take about 30 minutes to put together. Yeah right. We ended up using our old, corroded grill off the youth house porch... and cooking the burgers in the oven. (And the grill is in about 10 less pieces on the back porch) ARGH!!! Lots of people came though, even though it was windy and a bit cold, so even though it was exhausting it was LOTS of fun too.

Now we are all in the second half of May and that is when I always start getting stressed. Just for a run down... May still contains: weekends at camp on the ropes course, the Memorial Day campout with my sister and her family at Brookville Lake (this could be TRAUMATIZING- they don't exactly camp the way I do!), graduations and graduation parties.

Then it will be June: spaghetti lunch fundraiser, campout and canoe trip, Logan's first birthday party in Cleveland, Vacation Bible School, and all the other usual stuff.

Then it will be July: nearly 2 weeks in Minnesota with the youth, a week in Arkansas with the youth, King's Island, oh, and my JOB in the office.

THen it will be August: another Vacation Bible School, Tar HOllow, cook outs, Young's Dairy, and gearing up for the beginning of the school year.

Throw into the mix of all those things the part about getting a new senior pastor in July, trying to take 24 hours in a row off work, and the fact that I really, really, really want to get the chance to spend time with some of my favorite people who I will be crossing paths with this summer... and I get STRESSED.

A big part of the problem is that I am much more of a go-with-the-flow kind of girl than a planner... and yet I have lots "planned" through August.

I LOVE summer.... but it stresses me out!!!!!!!!!

love yas.
lets cross paths soon!!

Dissilusioned

This week I am supposed to be on vacation, finishing (or should I say STARTING) a grad class I need to renew my teaching certificate. Instead I have found myself at work every afternoon (few mornings I admit... but HEY I don't get to work many mornings when I am NOT on vacation!).... so very much to do... so very little time... really, what made me think that with rummage sales, Dragons games, campouts, VBS, family parties, mission trips, and all the other weekly stuff coming I could afford a week off, I am not sure... but none the less... not so much on the vacation this time around!!

ANYWAY. I heard some news today that made me feel very dissilusioned about what I do and the organization I work for. Now, don't get me wrong there... I dearly love my job (most days), I am passionate about what I do and I think that the organization I work for is an AMAZING group, capable of AMAZING things, and doing AMAZING good. (boy, do you think I think its AMAZING?!). Yet today decisions were made and PEOPLE will suffer... and I hate that. I hate that we get so caught up in wordings and politics and not wanting to take a stand or cause a scene that we forget that PEOPLE are suffering... and our decision AND indecision separates people from Christ.

ARGH. Today I am dissilussioned. I could go on and on, but I won't. I am annoyed, but more than that, my heart hurts for those this organization has very intentionally hurt and alienated. My heart hurts because I am not sure that there is any change my pitiful little voice can make. My heart hurts because I don't want to stand by while people are suffering.... I need to be part of a solution.

Playing Hooky

Today is the most beautiful day. We have had a lot of those lately... which is SOOOO rare in Ohio... none the less. The sky is blue, not a cloud in sight. It should be in the mid 70s by mid afternoon.

Today I really wanted to play hooky and not come to work. I tried. I "overslept"... I took the dog on a walk... I thought about sitting on the deck all morning and watching the world go by.

But I didn't. I got in my car and drove to work.

Why am I so responsible!?!!?!!?!!

Epic Journeys

In the driveway of the youth house there is a BEAUTIFUL tree. Every time I pull up the driveway to come into the office I see it. It is has pretty purple and white flowers and it seems to have bloomed out of nowhere. I wish I knew what kind of tree it is, but I don't. Today as I was looking for something in the front room I looked out and saw it. I thought, gosh, that tree is AMAZING... but it's beautiful flowers will be gone so quickly... replaced by normal green leaves... and I probably won't even think twice about it when I don't see it anymore.

Outside the window of my office, the fire circle that Kim and I built down by the tree line is covered in leaves still. We keep talking about cleaning it up so we can use it this summer... but we probably won't. We built it 2 summers ago and we still haven't had a single fire. We have the wood, the circle, the food to cook... we just never have the time or energy to do it.

I know of two people who are hiking the Appalachian Trail right now. They started in Georgia in mid-March and are somewhere north of the Smokies right now. I read their blog regularly to hear of their adventures and it makes me jealous. Partially because I have always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail (and I mean ALL 2000 miles of it.) and I don't think I will ever find someone who wants to go with me... and partially because there have been a lot of days lately when I have wanted nothing in the world more than I want to walk out the door, into the woods, and just not stop for 6 months or so. Nothing to do but walk and breathe and sleep and experience the beauty of God's creation.

Sometimes I feel like I am desperately searching for the next big adventure. I mean there are exciting things coming up in the next few months. Things I can't wait to experience, even if they don't seem like they are working out exactly how I pictured them. Yet it seems every time someone talks to me they ask me when the next big adventure or trip is and where I am headed. Right now I feel a bit lost when people ask...

I guess in some ways I am tired of the adventures. Another town or city, another beach or mountain... I am ready for a real journey. Not the kind that will last a little while and then fade into the past. I am ready for something epic. Something that will challenge the ways I live and change the ways I think. An epic journey. That's what I feel like I need.

Maybe it is just the traditional "it's spring so Carly has itchy feet."... but I don't think so. I feel so stuck. So safe. So blah. I want to feel alive. I want to live on the edge. I want to be purposeful and intentional and passionate. But I guess I am a little scared... or maybe a lot scared.

I think I need an epic journey... or a change of pace... or a new perspective... or a different path for a while... and a companion or two for the road (or trail!)

Anybody up for ditching life for a while???

**PS. Not depressed... just thinking.

FINALLY!!!

Today is a GREAT day.

Today I went to get lunch... and DROVE WITH MY SUNROOF OPEN. NICE. Spring is HERE.

Well, its here for a few days anyway. We had the most beautiful weekend of training on the ropes course at Rolling Hills. Great weather, great laughs and of course, climbing, swinging, and zipping... all my favortie things... good times.

Yesterday and today, 70 degrees, bright sunshine, sunroof open... ahhh.

I am loving it while it lasts, because Thursday I head to dreary, yucky Cleveland and then on to another weekend of ropes training... this time at my former home, Camp Whip Poor Will, where the rumor is it is supposed to SNOW.

ugh.

It will be fine though... because I am enjoying TODAY!

Three things

I am so bad at staying in contact with people. I have realized this more and more in recent weeks as I have let e-mails sit unopened in my inbox. Not because I don't want to read them, but because I don't want to forget to reply to them. GAH! I am so bad at being in contact with people.

Ok, so life has been moving at a pretty hectic pace in the last month or so too... which is why I really need to get off my butt and do some communicating... but it is getting so bad that I don't even know where to start.

If I haven't e-mailed you back... I promise I will!! Just let me make it to April!!!

OK.

SO.

Three things in the last few weeks have been AWESOME.


Here they are:

1. My trip to the Dominican Republic.

Yup. I was nervous. My second adult mission team (Russia trip #2 being kinda the first)... my history of not always playing nice with others. It could have ended in a big old mess. Instead, after the blizzard cleared we left 2 days late... worked REALLY, REALLY hard... I got about 10 marriage proposals out of batay #7, one guy even wanted me to come live in the house that we were putting a cement floor in with him. Nice. Also funny when people think that I don't understand what they are talking about in Spanish. Uh. I do. It was a GOOD, GOOD trip. I got a ROCKIN tan... I must say, way better than anyone else on the team... WAY... good thing I spent all those years in Brazil practicing maximizing my tan potential!! It was quite the trip. On our last day, we even went to the beach. NICE!


#2. Holy Week
Ok, so usually Holy Week is nothing but a big old ball of stress for me. I hate it. Its kind of like the last few weeks of advent. I'd just rather sleep through it all. This year though, maybe a bit because of coming home from the mission trip on Palm Sunday. IT was good. REALLY good. Kim preached an awesome Holy THursday message about how everyone is welcome at the table. EVERYONE. Ohh-hoo. You know Carly loves that!! It was a good reminder and a good thing to hear with things the way they are. EVERYONE IS WELCOME... love it. Then we had communion sitting around tables at the front of the sanctuary, serving each other. OK, so I hate having to be so close to people... but let me tell you... it was GOOD.

THEN... the prayer vigil was Friday night to Sunday... and this year... it was EXHAUSTING. Less than 2 hours of sleep in 3 days... ugh. BUT... it was GOOD. I mean, really, really good. Kim had the idea of putting lanterns around... the idea of keeping watch... oh, it was GOOD. And it is just such a quiet, reflective weekend... which is awesome, since the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday seems so... lost. LIke, how are you supposed to feel and act? How can you be reverent? SO. Carly loves, loves, loves the Prayer vigil. (Even if I did start it as a selfish observance... it is GOOD!)


#3. Easter Sunrise Service.
Ok. So. Paper Lanterns. That is what I have to say. At sunrise on Easter morning the prayer vigil ended with the Psalms in the quiet, dark sanctuary. We went outside to the field and had singing, prayer, and SKY LANTERNS. Seriously... watching those things rise in the cold, cold air, after spending the entire weekend quietly and prayerfully. Yes. Good. Uh huh.

SO. That's the stories I have to tell.

Learning lots about God these days and being blessed, blessed, blessed in ways that I absolutely do not deserve.


Christ is risen.
Christ is risen indeed!

back in town

AHHHHH. I am back from the Dominican Republic and my week of mixing cement and being harassed by foreign men.

I have to say, 10 marriage proposals in one week. What's a girl to do!

Really though, I had an amazing week serving amazing people in one of the poorest places I have ever been. Six of us put new floors into 8 house for 11 families while others pulled lots of teeth and treated lots of people in pain. I got to spend time with people from the church that I don't usually spend time with, because they are ADULTS! It was a trip that surprised me and blessed me...

and I plan to write more here in the near future.

For now... I am home. Kinda tan... and really tired!!

Trying to head south... kinda

Ahhh. How often do I wish that I could spend a few days with absolutely nothing to do? How often do I wish that I could sit somewhere and not do a thing but sleep and eat and sleep some more.

Yesterday I was supposed to leave on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. On Friday it started snowing, turned into a blizzard and cancelled all our flights. Yesterday I got stuck at a hotel in Kentucky, waiting for the Cincinatti airport and the wonderful (sarcasm!) American Airlines to put me on a plane south.... to warm up this winter weary body.

Yet here I sit.

Since yesterday morning we have been hanging around the hotel. I am tired of it. Apparently having nothing to do is not as great as I like to think it is. I AM SO BORED!!!

Tomorrow morning at 7:15 we are apparently going to fly south. Of course, it IS supposed to snow again tonight, but there is at least hope for some warmth in coming days!!!

SO... my trip to the DR will be 2 days shorter than planned... but someday we ARE going to make it.

Kinda!

Ahhh. Life.

Life can be so crazy sometimes. Sometimes I have this weird feeling that I am still living my life like I am 16 years old... that's certainly the way I tend to treat my body! I have this tendency to be a very big kid.... but at the same time I live a life and have a job that carries with it a lot of responsibility...

Sometimes I handle that responsibility well... like when I take the kids on mission trips to foreign countries and bring them back all safe and sound... or I organize big events and remember every little detail. Sometimes I am just that kind of person... detail oriented, mature, responsible.

Sometimes I lack a few of those parts... sometimes they escape me for a few seconds or minutes or hours and I make decisions that can only be described in hind-sight as not so bright. That, friends, is the story of my weekend. Here we go...

So. This weekend we had our second annual Winter Retreat. I started this tradition last year because my youthies LOVE to go on retreat. We go to Camp Otterbein, we have an AWESOME weekend together, we have a winter olympics (first lapse of judgement, one event is the downhill ice run. uh, yeah), we do a luge track down the hill from the outdoor chapel and down around some cabins (lapse #2), we eat lots of junk food, do crafts and generally act crazy... all while spending good times in lessons and discussions. It's winter retreat, its organized by me...

that's what you get.

This year I had another lapse of judgement. After an afternoon outside on the big sledding hill, with wet, cold feet (my #1 hate in the world), and snow packed into places I'd rather not discuss, I said to the kiddies "Hey, let's go inside and get warm... we can come back out and sled later."

That evolved into this...

We'll call it... NIGHT SLEDDING.

For the record. This is a BAD IDEA.

BAD in the fact that those nice, snowy hills refroze, our sledding configurations got more crazy.... and I ended up with near heart failure. BUT... lapse #1,000,00 of course was that I went down the hill too... 5 or 20 times... screaming the whole way, bailing out of my little saucer sled at the bottom to avoid taking the ice right into the creek bed... and going head over heels into the snow. Yes. This is a BAD IDEA because... I am 31 not 13.

These girls... they are teenagers. Their cute little selves can handle things that leave me bruised and sore for DAYS.

Any hoo it was a good weekend. These kids proved that Sulphur Grove Youth can play 4 Square ANYWHERE. They shoveled and scraped their way right to the bottom.

And this is all of us. Just before heading home. The snow and ice storm on Friday kept us from leaving as planned and we didn't get to camp until Saturday... but in the end.... it was one of the best retreats on record....

And just for the record...

I'm not getting any younger... my poor battered body can attest to that!

Who ME??

I have been thinking a lot lately. (I KNOW right?) Its not really a new thing, its just something I don't really talk about all that much... you know... CARLY... THINKING. But the reality is that I do it quite a bit... so please, pick your jaw up off the floor and go with me here.

In recent weeks I have encountered this bizarre experience a couple of times that has gotten me really thinking about... change. See, a few weeks ago I had a very odd experience that led me to believe that either I have changed significantly in recent years or the perceptions that are held about me vary by the place they are connected with. Now that may make no sense to you, but try being me!! All of my life I have taken great pride in the fact that no matter what place in life your experience of me started from or what path you walked with me (for whatever time frame) the Carly you got is the authentic one. Some people tell me that I should keep thoughts to myself, others tell me that I should try harder to be on time, others that I need to dress more professionaly for work, and still others that I have a bit of a tendency to be a very big kid (oh, and sometimes a bit of a drama queen, but who's counting?!). The fact is that regardless of where you have encountered me you have probably experienced me as being a bit (hahaha) opinionated, tardy, wearing flip flops, having unbrushed hair, and mostly likely pining away for the beach or looking for an excuse to laugh. That's just me. That's who I am. Whether I was being the kindergarten teacher, the youth director, the camp director, or the tree climber, I have taken great pride for years in the fact that what you see is what you get.

OK. So apparently I have changed.... or who I am in Ohio is much different than who I have been in the past... or something happened to me that I am unaware of! In recent years I have become much more tolerant of loud children all around me, bodily functions being openly discussed, and spaghetti (YUCK!). I have also become more socially conscious, more passionate about life, more passionate about God, and more into loving people than telling them they are wrong. SO... yeah, apparently I have changed somewhat... but really... if you have spent any time with me you already knew those things. You probably already knew that I get a lot more caught up in the "yes"es than the "no"s. You probably already knew that my life and faith are somewhat liberal and I am all about loving people for Jesus, regardless of their life choices or decisions. I am... and I always have been.

Yet in the past few weeks my experiences have led me to believe that some people may have been misled about who "Carly" really is and what "Carly" is really for. So just to clear that up... if I have disappointed you with the person I have become, I can't apologize for anything except that I may have misled you in the past. If I have surprised you with the person I have become, I need to reevaluate the person I have been putting out there in the past. If you have not noticed any difference (save some small amount of maturity and gray hair) than YEAH!! and thanks for loving me in spite of my flaws.

NO worries friends! I am still here... still trying to be passionate every day, still trying to convince my feet to wear shoes, still threatening to shave my head if my hair doesn't get life figured out soon, and still being me... passionately searching for Jesus and loving his people along the way... cause really... that's who Carly is.

THanks!

**BY The way.... I in no way think that change is bad... It just seems that some people think that I am fundamentally a different person than I have been before and while I am always changing and growing... IT'S STILL ME IN HERE. (even if you don't recognize me under the fleece, the mittens, the scarf, the coat, the boots... etc... =))