Goodbye 2007...

It seems appropriate that I should write a little something as I mark the end of 2007 (along with the rest of humanity!!) and look ahead to 2008.

I was riding in the car today with my nephew Nickolas, and he told me that he was glad 2007 was over, surely 2008 would be better... he's 5, I'm sure its been a rough one for him!!

I can't really say the same for how I feel about the end of 2007. It's been an amazing year to be honest. There have been some tough days and frustrations... but 2007 has been marked with amazing things as well.

It was hard to spend an entire year away from Brazil... for the first time in 6 years... but a blessing to spend time with amazing friends in Russia and Costa Rica.. and right here at home. It was hard to face frustrations on a daily basis, but a blessing to see so many new and exciting possibilities unfold. It was hard to see people I love struggle, but it was a blessing to experience the amazing things God brought to their lives.

This year we welcomed Logan to the family. We thought more than once we would be saying goodbye to Lloyd (the family dog) but he is still hanging in there. We said goodbye to the family home in Englewood.

This year I said hello to new friends in Russia, a new home in Vandalia, and new adventures in a variety of places. We started new traditions, like the Easter Prayer vigil and a Winter Retreat.

This year was also about keeping things the same in a lot of ways... I started my 4th year at Sulphur Grove, trained for the 7th year on the Challenge Course at WPW, and returned for a 3rd time to Costa Rica and a 2nd time to Russia.

There were lots of friends that I didn't see enough of this year... and a few people that I was blessed to spend lots of time with.

As I look to 2008, I know that there are amazing things in store... regardless of where this new year takes me... to the Dominican Republic? to Alaska? to Brazil again??

Thank you friends! Thank you for being part of my life and allowing me to be part of yours. Thank you for your support and encouragement. Thank you for putting up with my inability to be on time or answer my cell phone with any kind of consistency. Thank you for your love.

And now... on to 2008... CRAZY!!

Fall Retreat 2007

A few weeks back the youthies and I spent an amazing weekend at camp. Fall Retreat is always such a good time... and finally here are some pictures of our weekend. God bless 'em... I love those kids!!

OH... and I am bad at formatting this kind of thing... so... yeah.

FRUSTRATED.

Phone Conversation with a friend...

This is the phone conversation I had recently with a friend...

Me: HHHEEEEYYYYY....
Her: HHHHEEEYYYY... whatcha doin?
Me: Driving, as usual... and hoping the man in front of me learns to drive in the snow before I have to rear end him...
Her: Oh...
Me: What?
Her: I just figured you were out changing the world again....

And a text from my friend in the south:

Hey. R u in the country right now? I can't keep track. Call me if u get a break today from saving the world.

Hmmmm... why do people think these things about me?? I am 100% sure that I am not living up to these two wonderful friends' expectations of my life... but then... am I living up to MY expectations of my life.. and more importantly am I living up to GOD'S expectations of my life?

I really do want to change the world.... why am I tying yarn to jingle bells all afternoon??

Back

I am back in town...

Back from my time at the NYWC in Atlanta...
Back from visiting Katie in Charlotte...
Back from Chris and Katie's house in Greenville, SC.

Back.

Back with drama and trauma.

Soon I will blog my time at the NYWC which was AMAZING...
For now... I am back.

Logan update

Little Logan is still pretty little, but WHOA is he growing!! He is weighing in these days at nearly 7 pounds, which is about... 7 times his birth weight!

You can check his latest progress here:
Updates from the Greens.

Just thought I would let you know that he is doing well. Still a ways to go, but better every day! Thanks to all of you who have been praying for him! Hopefully soon I will let you know that he is heading home!! For now, this is the most up to date picture available!

a Camp Birthday

This weekend I went to retreat.

For the first time in my 31 years I spent the day of my birthday at camp... and I do LOVE camp... so it was a special blessing.

More to come on the craziness that was Fall Retreat, along with pictures! But for now.... thanks for the great weekend!!

on snow flurries and slacker attitudes

So. I have not blogged in a while. But the snow flurries are falling outside and I should be writing fall retreat lessons inside, so it seems the perfect time for a quick blog!!

Since last I wrote here I have been to my best friend from college's wedding (very, very nice!), found out information that made my life more difficult, planned three trips that just might end up on the "highlight reel" at the end of my year, and struggled with tough situations. I have been inspired and disillusioned, excited and passive, educated and "schooled". I have learned how some things work together and I have not always been impressed.

Through all of the junk going on and all of the things that I struggle with, I have come to realize that... I am so blessed. At the end of the day, when the decisions are done being made and the hours and minutes have been spent, I realize that there has been more good than bad and I have learned an awful lot for the struggle. And really... struggle is not always a bad thing!!

So here I am... in my cold office, on a gray Tuesday, remembering that I do love my life and I am truly blessed, and no matter what comes of the days and weeks ahead, I will continue to love life and try to live these days for a bigger purpose than me!

hmmmm... guess I can't put it off any longer... on to fall retreat planning!!

Saying hello... saying goodbye.

It is fall. It is time to say hello to beautiful leaves and amazing days outdoors in the cool autumn air. It is time for bonfires and campouts, retreats and cookie baking. It is time to enjoy rainy mornings in bed and playing outside with my wonder-pup, Nellie.

It is also time to say goodbye.... soon it will be much too cold for flip flops and the open sunroof (although I fully plan to fight on the flip flops until mid November at the earliest!!). It is also time to close up the ropes course for the season and put away my harness and ropes. BOOOOO!!! I spent an AWESOME day at camp Saturday... ok, so my flying squirrel group didn't show, but I did get to take a LONG hike through the trails at Whip Poor Will... on of my my long time favorite places to hike and camp... and I took some pictures...

So, hello to beautiful fall days, goodbye to another great season on the course(s). (OK, so I still have one or two more courses to facilitate this coming weekend, but it is supposed to be cold and rainy, so I am thinking I will mentally close out the season while the memories are so good!)

(This is a new unit I discovered that now stands where the old Nature cabin was... hmmm)















The trail once known as the "Peace Trail"... funny, I don't think I ever knew its ACTUAL name... it goes all the way from the pool out to Cedar Trails, without going through the Arboretum.














The cabin that is now where the Fernwood tent unit used to stand, which has a cute little side porch, but still a gross latrine!!

My little thoughts on Planet Earth...

This weekend I had an amazing conversation with my youth about global warming. Now, I have to admit that we usually don't have conversations on that topic. Yet, when you walk 10 k together on a BEAUTIFUL fall morning, it comes into the picture. Especially since here in Ohio the temperature has been well into the 90's until the middle of last week. (Not that my flip flop loving feet are complaining at all!!).

Anyway, we had quite a conversation about it... also in part because of Al Gore winning the Nobel Prize for his work just last week. What I realized over the course of conversation is that kids today are a lot more aware of global environment issues than they ever have been before. They know about global warming, they have read and watched "An Inconvenient Truth" (which is a truly disturbing movie if you haven't seen it), they know all about conservation and recycling. The part that bothers me... is I am not sure it bothers THEM.

At the youth house we try to be good stewards. We use regular plates, cups, and silverware for our meals together and wash them by hand when we are done. We recycle our cans and plastic bottles. When we have to use paper plates, we use biodegradable ones that we put in the youth house compost pile. We rarely turn our pile, its true, but the animals around here do eat a lot from it, so that's not bad!! (Plus I have traumatic memories from childhood of turning the compost at Whip Poor Will on hot summer days. Gag, gag, gag.) We even scrape and compost paper plates during fundraisers and church wide meals that the youth help with.

I try to help them see the importance.

But I am not sure they do. I am not sure at all that it really matters to them, because I am not sure they see how it directly impacts them. That makes me sad... and it makes me worried.

We spend lots of time outside. We camp LOTS, we canoe, we hike. We don't have airconditioning in our youth house, so we save energy. We eat outside lots in the summer. Nature and the outdoors are important to me... and are becoming important to them....

But somehow they need to see beyond their sheltered views of the people doing the talking and decide to take action on their own. I know, I know... it is important to plant those seeds in them for the future... but if we don't get going soon... what will the future look like.

I worry. I need to find solutions.

There is hope... we just need to put it into action!

Help CROP Stop Hunger

Ahhhh... its the second weekend in October... and what happens the second weekend in October you may be asking... well...

CROP Walk! (Ok, and the Sauerkraut Festival... but...)

Ever since I was in high school I have been either walking in or supporting the CROP Walk. It is organized by Church World Service and is a 10k walk to raise resources and awareness of hunger related organizations and issues locally, nationally, and internationally. I love it because nearly 100% of everything raised goes on to directly benefit those in need... very little overhead, very little operating expense. You just get some sponsor sheets, get some walking shoes and head to the park that morning.

SO... this year the SUlphur Grove Youthies continued the tradition of the first lock-in of the school year the night before... very, very, very little sleep... and the 10 k. Now... for me, walking 10 k... not really a stretch. I mean, its not like I do it every day, but I consider myself fit enough to get the job done. However, my favorite crew of whiners? Well... they don't really walk quite that much! So... part of the joy of the CROP Walk is the next day at church when I get to laugh at their general whining and moaning over the pains in their legs. It is one of the few comparative times in my year that I don't feel OLD!! and it follows a morning when I get up off the cement floor after a three hour "sleep" and feel very, very OLD!

Anyway... if you live in Ohio you understand and if you don't live in Ohio than you should know that EVERY city, town, and village has its own festival sometime between April and November. So then it was on to the Sauerkraut Festival (and time spent living into my German heritage) and the corn maze for a night with my nephews. Oh, and the pumpkin chunkin cannon that shoots a pumpkin a HALF MILE... and at night they shoot a flaming pumpkin... PRETTY SWEET!

ANyway... that's my story and I am stickin to it!

Here's hopin' your weekend was as nice as mine was!!!

Monday afternoon...

SO... it's Monday afternoon and what does that mean? Well, DUH! It means that I am lacking motivation and possibly staying at work all night... ahhh... being me.....

SO... this weekend I had the great opportunity to spend a day with my lovely friend Rachel J. She is actually one of only two people I have taken to church with me since I came here. Odd. It was so nice to have a bit of Brazil and PACA here... but mostly it was just nice to spend the day with an old friend. Rachel and I did the church thing and did the Tim's thing and then we did the miniature golf with the youth group thing (which I am SURE she was just LOVING... hee hee hee... yeah right!)... but it was such a blessing to me to spend time with her... because it I finally got an answer I have been looking for!

There has been SO much going on in my life for SO long... so many things are piling up and weighing me down... so many things I am struggling with and wanting to throw things and scream lots (wouldn't it be nice if I was just a crier and not so much a screamer... I am such a drama queen!).... none the less, spending a day with Rachel made a big piece of the puzzle very clear.

I miss being passionate about what I do! I LOVE MY JOB! I LOVE MY YOUTH! But with all the things that are going on right now I don't have the passion for it anymore... and when you spend as much time as I do at work... you gotta love it, right? Or it is just wasting time. SO anyway, I am praying and dreaming and listening and talking about how to make things get right and balanced again...

So... I am a big dork. But lots of people lately have told me that they think there is something wrong with me... I want to scream (of course!) THERE IS... but I am not sure anyone really cares... but at least today, in this moment, I can see the root of where I am struggling.

Passion.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

blah blah blah... and monday afternoon

It's Monday afternoon in the land of sunshine and slackers... I have SO much work to do and so very little motivation to do it....

Things are odd as usual... or maybe more odd than usual. It's hard telling.

I am DESPERATELY in need of a good vacation... thoughts anyone?

(Paula... I am going to come to Alaska... so let's figure out when... but I mean a more immediate vacation!)

New...

I recently ordered a book called: Red Letters, Living a Faith that Bleeds. It is a GREAT book. Just sayin'. I recently finished a book called: The New Friars. It too was a GREAT read.

Today I got a new pair of shoes. They are cute. They are TOMS... and when I bought them a child in South Africa got their first pair of shoes, paid for by my purchase, similar to mine... not just a pair of shoes handed to them, but someone will actually GO to South Africa and put the pair of shoes ON their feet. TOMS doesn't just want to GIVE shoes away, they want to PUT THEM ON those who will receive them and love on them.

Do you ever think that life is changing and the way you think and feel about life is changing... and as much as you feel powerless to stop it you keep feeding the fire because it just feels RIGHT and GOOD?

That's how I am feeling these days. My life is all crazy and messed up and sometimes I just want to sit and cry in a corner somewhere... but then I remember that MY life, with GOD'S HELP can make a difference... and if I'm sitting in a corner somewhere what kind of difference will that make?? I want to LIVE and make a DIFFERENCE and have my life be lots bigger than me. Buying a pair of shoes or reading a book isn't going to do it, but the changes in the way I think and in the ways I desire to live are a lot bigger than me...

Just sayin'

Thank you! Good night!

Six things that make life good...

This weekend I experienced 6 things that make life good. Sure there are lots. But here are mine...
1. 3 days... not a cloud in the sky the entire time.
2. An open sunroof while cruising in the country on beautiful, warm days.
3. Indigo Girls blaring on the radio.
4. Campfires with friends on cool nights.
5. 3 days of waking up in my tent.
6. Weekends spent LIVING and not WAITING.

Life is good. A great, pretty darn close to perfect Labor Day weekend.

Thank you!

1 Kilo and counting...

(this is an old pic of Logan.. like... more than a month... but its all I have right now!!)

Yesterday Little Logan gave his daddy (Lance) one heck of a birthday gift!! He reached ONE KILO!!! YEAH LOGAN!!!!

Logan has had a couple of rough days lately in Cleveland... but he is hanging in there and doing his best to sleep, grow, and gain weight! *Don't we all wish that those were our marching orders!!** One kilo is a big milestone though and they say that once a baby gets to a kilo gaining weight seems to get a lot easier!!

Anyway, just wanted to give you an update for those of you who are still praying for the little guy! THANK YOU!!!

PS. My other little guy... Nickolas... my other nephew is starting Kindergarten on Tuesday. He doesn't really need your prayers... but his teacher sure does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaa!! REally though... not kidding!!!

Tar Hollow

I am sitting here realizing that I didn't tell you all about what an amazing week I had at camp!!!



Ok... that may be because it wasn't always amazing and awesome and awe inspiring. It was full of hard stuff, challenging situations, and tough circumstances. It was full of drama.



But you know what else? Camp was great! I had a great time with people I only see once a year (that's unfortunate!). I laughed at things that made no sense, talked about things that were vaguely important, and beaded lots of bracelets.



I love camp. I love going. I love seeing the kids get there and the staff arrive and everyone being all excited about being together again. I love watching people stress out on Saturday night and Sunday and not know what to do about this or that... and then I love to watch God show up and blow all of our planning and worries right out of the water. I love to see kids love on each other for a week.


That's what has taken me back year after year since high school... and next year it will be 10 years I have spent in the crazy hollow between the 4 big hills that we lovingly call "camp!"


Camp is good. One of these years I fully intend to show up there and NOT be so tired from the rest of the summer that I want to pass out all week.



Thanks friends for another great year at old Tar Hollow. Thanks for changes... and thanks for those sacred cows.... God is good!!



(Shout out here to Charlotte for the great pics... you ROCK!!)

LIfe is so odd.....

(my feet hit the Red Square in Moscow... I never have pictures of ME in places, so I take pictures of my FEET in places... I am so odd.)

So...

I am home.

Home from nearly 3 months of never getting quite enough sleep. Home from 3 months of remotely warm showers... living out of bags and plastic boxes... drying off my shampoo each time I finish using it... eating mass produced food... having constantly dirty feet.

I am home.

Home from 3 months of spending time with amazing people who challenged the way I live and the way I think. Home from 3 months of amazing sunsets over lakes, trees, cities, and friends... living in community with people I grew to love... flying for hours and even days on airplanes to far away lands that became my home... experiencing life without ever sitting and relaxing, but always embracing each minute.

I am home.

On one hand it is good to be back with my dog and my bed. It is good to be able to sleep. It is good to be able to eat what I want, when I want it. It is good to be able to be quiet and still.

On the other hand, I miss savoring my few hours of sleep, knowing I had drained every bit of life from the day. I miss sharing meals with people who don't think like I do and challenge my faith. I miss friends new and old that I got to "do life" with this summer.

I won't miss the drama... but I will miss the passion.
I won't miss the exhaustion... but I will miss the anticipation.
I won't miss the unknowns... but I will miss the freedom.

So... I am home. It will take a long time for me to put into words or even into comprehensible thought my experiences of this amazing, exhausting summer.

Today it will be 105 degrees (heat index) in my office. I will sit at my desk and do my work.

Soon enough fall will be here.... and I will fall headfirst into the craziness all over again. This time though, I fall knowing how amazingly blessed I truly am... and aware that there is a great big adventure beyond here... waiting for me to make a decision.

What to do, what to do....

(my feet come home to the Sulphur Grove youth house.)

Things I learned in Russia

So... I just got back from spending about 10ish days in Russia. (Its confusing with the time differences and the traveling... etc!). Anyway... I got back last night. Tonight I am at the youth house... life is so odd.

Last night I slept in my bed. I love my bed. I love it because it is in my house, with my family and my dog. I would have slept on the floor if I had to. I love home... I don't get to be there much, but I love it. So... I learned some things while I was in Russia last week.. here they are... some interesting, some heartfelt... all true.

#1. Riding in a "double decker" plane? Not really that thrilling. Kinda just like any other plane by hour 2 of 8.
#2. I could drive in Russia... their driving? Right up my alley! Plus, I would do MUCH better without HAVING to stay in my own lane!
#3. Embracing every opportunity to connect with another culture? Pretty much my key to my existence.
#4. Cleanliness, sanitation, and variety in the food available? Unfortunately (but truly) are luxuries of the rich (aka. North Americans).
#5. Cabbage won't kill you.
#6. People who complain too much should really just stay home. AND people who complain in front of the people who are hosting them... they should REALLY stay home.
#7. Anytime someone makes you a meal you should be thankful for their gift of hospitality, you should NEVER say things like... more soup? more bread? unrecognizable proteins? hotdogs?
#8. Characterizing everything you see in a country as "Russian this" or "Russian that" makes you look ignorant for lumping together a country and one small (somewhat sheltered) encounter you had with it.

There you have it. 8 things I learned. Also I learned to love more fully. I learned to embrace those whose language I do not speak. I learned to be ashamed that I haven't made more efforts to become bilingual. I learned to worship fully with youth and children in a foreign language and place. I learned that God is working in mighty ways in an amazing country. I learned that I am a far different traveler than most people are.

I learned that I CAN love another country as much as I love Brazil and it doesn't mean I have to love Brazil (or Costa Rica) less.

I learned to look for Jesus wherever I go.

I learned the art of coming home.

Today I am good. Thanks for reading!

Breathing

I am still here.

Sometimes I wonder...

None the less...

I am still here.

My trip to Costa Rica was amazing and challenging, beautiful and ugly, good and real and honest and wonderful..... and too much for my tired fingers to write.

Alyona and Lera are visiting from Russia. They are my special blessing. We have been to work camp in Columbus, King's Island, various cookouts... tomorrow we head to a conference and then on to retreat before they depart for New York on July 18th. I move on to Memphis on the 22nd and then on to Russia on July 25th (if that visa comes through!!!).

My nephew is still hanging on... getting stronger every day... up to 1 pound 7 ounces now I do believe. (You go, Logan!).

I am tired... my gray hair is peaking through again. I think I am getting sick.

And yet...

I am more blessed than I can express. Life is beautiful. It is my July goal to love and LIVE it!

I'm an Aunt again...

My little, little, little nephew Logan Anthony was born on Saturday afternoon. He was born at just about 24 weeks and weighed in at a whopping 453 grams (1.06 pounds). He is just about 10 1/2 inches long. He is SO TINY. I saw him yesterday afternoon in Cleveland and it is just amazing to me that everything he needs for life is inside such a small little thing.

Anyway, please keep praying for Logan, Meghann and Lance.

Brownie's First Camp Out

In Darke County, Ohio... in the middle of a cute, quiet little park... there is a cabin that belongs to the Girl Scouts of Buckeye Trails Council. It is a cute little cabin with bunk beds and a loft, a dining room, kitchen, fire circle and wooden decks. I have always been fond of Little House. It's camping perfectly suited for brownies on their first overnight.

Last night my little troop went camping there. It was fun and we had a massive bonfire that was so hot we had to wait to cook the hot dogs and marshmallows. But it was nice to be with the girls and their shrieks over spiders and bugs. It was nice to have to remind them continuously to stop yelling, and stop running around the fire ring, and stop chasing the ducks, etc. etc.

It was nice because for a few hours I got to remember what my very first campout was like... in a cabin at Rolling Hills and how that first night has evolved into my passionate quest for the next amazing camp spot.

OK, so they are WAY too loud too early in the morning and I only marginally smell like campfire... and there was "airconditioning" that kind of worked... so it wasn't REAL camping... but all the same.

It was nice.

Moving at the Speed of Light

Right now I feel like my life is moving at the speed of light. There is so very much to do and so very little time.

For a timeline update:
-In 12 days I will be departing for Costa Rica. (AHHHHH!)
-In 22 days 18 Russian friends will be arriving in Ohio for 3 weeks of INSANITY.
-In 1 month 4 days I am hosting a retreat/campout for Russian and West Ohio Youth.
-In 1 month 14 days I will be departing for Russia.
-In 2 months 1 day I leave for Tar Hollow.

I have felt lately like I am in desperate need of a time out. So, this weekend I went camping at John Bryan State Park, which is always one of my favorite places to be. Of course, in order to justify this, I took the youth with me. We had fun, the weather was AWESOME... and the fun, food, and laughter were abundant! On Saturday we went canoeing on the Mad River. Abbs and I floated/paddled our way through the middle of the pack to sunburnt knees, tired shoulders and quiet hearts.

My life surprises me sometimes and it takes a beautiful, relaxing weekend to be able to refocus. The proverbial calm before the storm.

Life is good.

Times are a-changin'

It's June.

Hmmmm.

This week all the schools in the area are getting out for summer vacation. It is weeks like this that make me wish I was still a teacher and I could look forward to a summer off! Instead I am once again staring down the barrel of an intense and crazy summer running all over Ohio, the country, and the world.

Why do I do this to myself?

Last week I went on "vacation" to Hershey, PA, Seaford, DE, and New Egypt/Matawan, NJ. In some ways this was my own (self inflicted) torture. In some ways it was nice to be away from Ohio for a week.

What I realized though is this.... I miss my friends. I miss having time to spend with people and live in "community" and laugh together and cry together and LIVE together. I miss going out to movies and I miss waiting for the world to pass by and I miss adventures and I miss love.

I realized that I am too busy. I realized that my life is too full of WORK and not full enough of LIFE and I realized that I can't do this much longer.

SO.... decision time is coming and I must say that I shall err on the side of realism and I shall err on the side of LIFE and I shall soon be making a decision that could make some long term changes... and it will be good.

So, friends... I miss you... but perhaps soon I won't have to anymore!

It's May

It's May and I am not ready.

I'm just sayin that if it is May... that means the next 3 weeks are CRAZY CRAZY busy (with rummage sales, church family parties, youth meetings, dragon's games, brownie meetings, conflict resolution days, kayaking, climbing trees, fundraisers, meetings, etc.) In the next few weeks I have to deal with some serious issues and decisions that will take me at a break neck speed into June.

I am not ready for June.

June is summer campout and canoe. It is Vacation Bible School and Costa Rica and the Brownie troop's first campout, and a special wedding I will be missing, and baby showers and craziness. Not to mention getting into the office... and a full on dash for July.

I am not ready for July.

July is finishing up Costa Rica and visits from Russians. It is campouts and conferences and mission teams to Reynoldsburg and Memphis. It is Dragon's games and King's Island and a trip to Russia... and trying to work in the office... and falling headfirst into AUgust.

I am not ready for August.

August is big, huge, life altering decisions, and baby showers (again) and finishing another trip to Russia, and Tar Hollow, and welcoming new youth into the group, and possibly a big huge event I am not ready to share... and trying to work in the office and prepare for the fall... and crying because I am exhausted and crying because I am so blessed... and dragging my exhausted, blessed, dirty, more gray haired, dissilusioned, and enlightened self into September...

and I am NOT READY FOR SEPTEMBER.

It's May. I am not ready for May.

I just have to remember...

The sun will shine in May and I will wear my flip flops and put one foot in front of the other and remember to say... one day at a time.

Spring Break Camp Out

SO... yesterday and today I took my youthies and went on a little thing called the spring break campout at Old Man's Cave in southern Ohio.

This has become a wonderful little tradition where we hike to see Old Man's Cave and the Lower Falls, I beg everyone to hike the 3 miles to Cedar Falls (they all say no because they are lazy bums) and then we return to our campsite and proceed to make AMAZING camp food. Kim says this is because I am fearless in my camp cooking and I basically shoot fire out of my finger tips making it nearly impossible for me NOT to light a roaring campfire. I think it is because I've spent the last 25 years of my life as a girl scout and you can't last that long and NOT make a kick butt fire! Plus, all those years working at Whip Poor Will convinced me that hot dogs and pie iron pizzas are Satan's food! SO this year it was BBQ chicken, corn bread casserole, and cheesy potatoes. YUM.

Then we sat around the campfire for hours, eating doughboys, telling stories, trying to stay warm. It was funny because the things that those kids say to me are so ridiculous! I would NEVER say that stuff to my youth pastor in high school! The stories... goodness the stories... I have never laughed so hard. I love my little youthies.

It was supposed to snow overnight but it didn't and didn't rain until about 11 in the morning. Sweet! IT was SUPER cold though... but a blessing to have my first night in a tent this spring!
Here's to many more to come!

Ahhh... now i need to get some work done, but to those lovely little youthies who graced my presence this adventure... thank you... I needed that!

Christ is risen!

Christ is risen, indeed.

Ahhh... today I am SO tired. Last night I slept for 13 hours. My body hates me now. I never moved, never rolled over, never got up... I basically passed out. If anyone had come into my room they may have thought I was dead.

13 hours. I have not slept that many hours straight ... EVER.

So, this past weekend I organized and led a 37 hour prayer vigil. We had prayer stations and tons of candles and soft music. From 9 pm on Friday night until 10 am on Easter morning we read aloud continuously from the Bible. We started with Matthew 1:1 and proceeded through the entire New Testament. After Revelation we went back to Isaiah 1:1 and read through all the prophets. When we got back to Matthew we backed up and started reading the Psalms.

I thought it was cool experience and really appropriate for the time between the crucifixion and ressurection. I was excited about it. We had decent youth participation and some wonderful adults. I spent time reading aloud alone in the sanctuary at about 6 am, which was creepy but enchanting... the amazing thing is that I selfishly did it for me... but people were telling me at church on Sunday how they had such powerful experiences during their time reading and praying and what a blessing it was to them. Now my selfishness has benefited them... so maybe it wasn't selfish after all!

Anyway... over the course of the weekend... from Friday morning to Sunday night, I slept for 2 hours TOTAL. TIRED!! But on Sunday morning Kels was reading and got to Micah at about 6 am. WHen I took over reading we were in Micah 6... which I LOVE!! So, in the dark sanctuary, Kim and Kelsey sat on the floor in front of me and we took turns reading Micah and Nahum about justice and mercy and God's faithfulness and goodness as the sun rose and lit up the windows... it was SUCH an amazing time... what a blessing. It made all those hours of no sleep and listening to the scriptures come together and it was amazing.

So... Christ is risen indeed... and it had nothing to do with my little vigil, but the vigil did make it wonderful and alive for me this year.

So... off to the Spring Break Campout in the morning at Old Man's Cave. Me, Kim, 10 kids... limitless laughter... and lots of food. Plus, huddling around the campfire in the snow flurries and freezing weather.

Man my life is random!

Spring in the Woods... and other dramas

Ahhh... spring is possibly finally here! Last Wednesday was the official first day of spring, although Kim and I did not take our first drive in the jeep until today so I guess today is the first OFFICIAL day of spring! (It's been THAT kind of day at work!)

I am tired. I'm just sayin... I need to get some sleep soon or things could take an unfortunate turn!

This weekend we had confirmation lock-in... which is always... exhausting. On Saturday it was supposed to rain all day but instead the sun was out and I was HAPPY... and I spent the day at low challenge course facilitator training... no tree climbing, although the weather was pretty perfect for it! Now we are done training for the spring and its time to get the course open... soon, soon, soon.

OTher than spending the day at camp, my weekend was full of the usual drama and exhaustion. I went to see two different high school musicals this weekend, which pretty much makes me EXHAUSTED... but reminded that there are some pretty talented young ladies around this church. ahhhh....

In just a few minutes I will head to FaithWeavers... only one more of those after tonight. SCARY!

Ahhhh... nothing important to say... just an update.

Pictures for my twin Esther

If I have a twin in Central America... her name is Esther. My twin. Yes she is.

These pics are from Winter Camp for her.
Love ya Esther! Wish you were here!

Here they are...
1. The whole lot of us.
2. The girls resting in their "sled"
3. Drew and Rachel "sledding"
4. Nate and Meghan"sledding"
5. Charlotte posing... as always!
(Esther... more pics are under WInter Camp, scroll down)

Clifford the big red van

Here is a picture to go with this story.

In order to begin this story I must say that this is the church van. The youth and I affectionately call it "Clifford the Big Red Van."

It is not what I would refer to as a quality ride.

It is more of a pile of steel on wheels. It is a 1994 Econoline 15 passenger van. All of this is important information for understanding the story.

This fine specimen of the american auto industry recently had some repair work done, which corrected its tendency to be unable to start and also gave us heat and a defrost so we no longer have to scrape the insides of the windows. Also the back seat is finally latched to the floor. However, it did not correct the crazy noises it makes, the extreme heat if you touch the floor during an extended drive, the missing inside handle on the passenger side door or the funny odor that persists no matter how much we clean her.

Usually Clifford is used to transport the youthies and their mass amounts of STUFF on various trips and retreats plus the all important campouts. She also hauls STUFF from one campus to the other, holds up one side of the tarp on rainy campouts, and provides endless adventures and fun games... like "I bet you can't jump through the passenger window without getting stuck" and "I bet you can't get to the end of the driveway without everyting rolling forward." Traditional, quality programs and events...

Many times both youth and I have been asked by other churches, "why don't you get a better or more reliable van? Why don't you guys have something better?" Our simple reply? "We love Clifford!" We love her for all of her stinkiness and adventures and having to shut doors from the outside only. Of course, we love the fact that she is like a TANK... and she holds lots of STUFF... and she makes every trip a bit more unpredictable. We just love her. We don't want a better van, we want OUR van... with all her craziness.

This weekend, Clifford was put to use in the area of helping my parents move to their new house. SHe is a BEAST. She holds lots of STUFF. She was perfect and up for the task. Until my LAZINESS nearly did her in.

At the youth house when I don't want to carry stuff from the house, down the path, down the stairs, and to the driveway... I pull Clifford up to the door, on the lawn. This seemed a reasonable idea for unloading the back porch of my mom's house as well. Or not.

So I drove around the back of the house, stopped to back up, and GOT STUCK IN THE MUD. Like... spinning tires and all. I COULD NOT GET OUT. (This is the second time this kind of thing has happened to me. Last time the van belonged to the girl scouts!). My mom and I stood and stared for a while, we tried to do all the things that you usually do when you want to get a car unstuck... and then we had to call AAA and get them to come and TOW THE VAN OUT OF THE MUD. FER SERIOUSLY.

I am done driving the van on anything that is not cement. FOREVER.

High Challenge Course Facilitator Training.

This weekend I drove back and forth to camp 3 times. I did not once go the same way. I was trying to find new and faster ways to get to camp and back.

Sunday morning on my way to camp (about 7:45 am- which is ridiculously early for a Carly) I remembered that one of the things that I love the most about working at camp is driving there on pretty mornings with the sky turning orange and then fading into a perfect day.... just me, the Saturn, some tunes, and a nice cup of coffee... so I decided I don't really need to find a faster way to get ANYWHERE... I need to remember to enjoy the moments and not get caught up in the rush.

SO, the funny thing is that I realized this is the 6th year I have taken facilitator training at Camp Whip Poor Will. This means that I have been directly connected to WPW for longer as an adult than I was as a child (11 years as a "staff" person and 8 years as a camper). This is a very earth shaking thing for me... I am getting old.

SO... Facilitator training went something like this... (3 days... a summary)
-"This is a fully adjustable participant harness for little people" "A what?" "A fully adjustable participant harness for little people" "Do you think we should say skinny people? It might be offensive to the little people." "Uh... don't you think skinny people would be offended too?"
- "I just remembered that I really don't like soup. AT ALL." "Then why are you eating it?" "I thought it looked good."
-"If you are like Carly you just show up after everything is set up, then you don't have to worry about it."
-"He wears his helmet in the bathroom. Yesterday was St. Patrick's day. You never know."
-"You want to help demonstrate a rescue?" "OK, how are we going to do that without cutting the lobster claws?" "I am sure we can make it work" Later while Carly hangs below the log, unable to unattach her caribiner and be lowered... "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea" "A little late for that! How am I getting DOWN?!"
-"Carly can you tell us how to set up the flying squirrel? Walk us through the set up procedure?" "Carly won't know she is never here for set up." "That is true. I have no idea, usually it is set up when I get here!"
-"Are the chest harnesses Carly and Bob are modeling the right size?" "Uh... they would work" "Yeah, but the girls would never be the same!"
and finally...
-"Can we wrap this up? My youth need some Jesus and its your fault they are not getting any!".

Yes, any weekend at camp is an interesting one.
Onward.

Thoughts

Recently I have been reading the book Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation. It has been an interesting read. I would recommend it.

Anyway, in recent days and weeks (and months) things have been more and more complicated in my church/work/ministry life. On Saturday I was reading and this little tidbit was part of what I read. I wish that I could express myself this well because honestly it is EXACTLY how my heart feels right now...

"Admission. There are some days when I no longer want to be the church. I want to walk away. Call it quits.

Why the occasional urge to bail out the nearest emergency exit? Fear, grief, disappointment, anger. You name it. Even the best laid human intentions sometimes misevolve the church into a cannibalistic organization that eats its own leaders.

So, lately, I weigh the cost, wondering, “How many times will I have to watch the lives of those I love be sacrificed. Wondering, “How many times can I feel this level of grief before I lose the ability to see the cause as noble?”

And I choose to press on. Sometimes only because I know that outside of the church there lies even more devastation. That the hope she carries is our only shot. Without her, we’ve got nothing.

So I cross the line in the sand one more time and say: I will be the church. Sometimes that is all I can do."

Thanks Sara Cunningham... for saying what is on my heart.

PS. I finished the book yesterday so if you are interested in reading it... let me know! I love to pass my books on!

Nick's Birthday Cake

So, lately I have gotten a reputation around here for my mad baking skills. Truthfully, I don't bake that well... but I do have a bit of a creative streak... so this weekend was my nephew Nickolas's 5th Birthday party and I made him a dinosaur cake. I couldn't get a pan so I freehanded it. Here it is...


I KNOW... mad skills... I need to get this out of the heads of those who know it or I am going to be making cakes forever.

Winter Camp

So... this weekend I took my youth group to Camp Otterbein, down in southern Ohio. I have to admit that I wasn't really looking forward to it because it has warmed up a bit and all the snow was melting. (I had PROMISED we would sled... silly me.. it's OHIO!). I also wasn't looking forward to it because of all the crap that has been going on lately. None the less we went to camp on Friday night.

It turned out to be one heck of a weekend.... We had some amazing discussions...

We went sledding on the ice "luge" track that substituted for a nice snowy hill... We tried to stay warm...

And I remembered why I love what I do. Although it is full of struggle and frustration at times, I remember now why I love the amazing job/ministry that I have been given. When a whole mess of kids and adults pose for their group photo and you think... man these people have become just like me... It becomes a little easier to see how who you are and the place where you are have been worked together by an amazing God... to put you exactly where he wants you.

God is good. I am blessed... and slowly... I am getting back to functional levels of energy.

Praise the Lord for a great weekend.

CarlyInBrazil

Recently I realized (somewhat late in the game perhaps) that I am still using my e-mail address "carlyinbrazil". I also use carlyinbrazil as a username in quite a few other places and accounts. The other day this suddenly struck me as funny... because... I am not carlyINbrazil anymore... and I haven't been in nearly three years.

Yet I hang on to that title.

It makes me wonder. How much of me still really IS in Brazil? I have spent a bit more than a month in Brazil (on two different trips) since I left there in the summer of 2004... but I don't think that is what this idea refers to. I think that a big piece of me is in Brazil still... and probably always will be. So many people see their time in college as this turning/changing time in their lives... and for me I would agree that AU definitely was that... but it was more a part of this 9 year arc that took me to Brazil and back and completely changed the girl that I am and the girl that I will be.

Brazil. I miss it. More than I thought I would... and three years later, I still sometimes feel like I am still coming back to the US... lots of stuff here still baffles me and still bothers me. When I moved to Brazil in 2001, I adjusted so fast and even never really felt like I had left home... Brazil always felt like home to me. Now being here again, in the place that is supposed to be my home, I still feel like a "foreigner".

So odd my life is.

I told Dawn last night that our lives lack any major drama or trauma that most of the world goes through regularly... yet our lives are FULL of the most random and ridiculous things.

It's true.

Today I miss Brazil... so today I will remain CarlyInBrazil.

But lest you doubt me... This proves I am most definetly NOT in Brazil...

My new Blog

I have always wanted to have this meaningful and informative blog... I read so many people's blogs about their thoughts and adventures... and I always want to have a blog like that... instead of one that is random and fairly uninfomative.

SO... now I have a new blog. Perhaps this one will be better at sharing more than just the side of me that whines about the cold weather and lack of sunshine in Ohio...

I also intend to use this blog to keep y'all up to date about the wandering life that I lead and the adventures I have along the way...

Settle down? Me... not so much... onward with the wandering!