Thoughts

Recently I have been reading the book Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation. It has been an interesting read. I would recommend it.

Anyway, in recent days and weeks (and months) things have been more and more complicated in my church/work/ministry life. On Saturday I was reading and this little tidbit was part of what I read. I wish that I could express myself this well because honestly it is EXACTLY how my heart feels right now...

"Admission. There are some days when I no longer want to be the church. I want to walk away. Call it quits.

Why the occasional urge to bail out the nearest emergency exit? Fear, grief, disappointment, anger. You name it. Even the best laid human intentions sometimes misevolve the church into a cannibalistic organization that eats its own leaders.

So, lately, I weigh the cost, wondering, “How many times will I have to watch the lives of those I love be sacrificed. Wondering, “How many times can I feel this level of grief before I lose the ability to see the cause as noble?”

And I choose to press on. Sometimes only because I know that outside of the church there lies even more devastation. That the hope she carries is our only shot. Without her, we’ve got nothing.

So I cross the line in the sand one more time and say: I will be the church. Sometimes that is all I can do."

Thanks Sara Cunningham... for saying what is on my heart.

PS. I finished the book yesterday so if you are interested in reading it... let me know! I love to pass my books on!