i don't wanna go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As my time in Brazil winds down i am dreading more and more the trip home.  Not the plane flight or cranky holiday travelers.  Not the long overnight or the extreme exhaustion.  Not the lack of sun or warm weather back in Ohio... but leaving this place.

This trip more than any other I have forgotten that I don't actually LIVE here.  I don't actually belong here.  In so many ways I have lived this trip (except for afternoons in the hammock) like this is my home.  So odd.  It's so odd that its not home,but it feels like it is.  It's so odd that I don't belong here, but feel 100% like I do.  So odd.

So, tomorrow I guess I will head home.  Again.  To the land of snow and cold temps.  I will return warm, tanned, and rested *plus sporting some extra Brazil pounds from the mass quantities of food I've consumed*, but also more peaceful, and more confused.

How I love Brazil.  When I tell people that if God called me back I would come, I'm not kidding at all.  I'm not sure I am ready to move back, to give up some of the things that I still hope for, but I would do it in a heartbeat if I knew I was supposed to be here.

I love Brazil.  I'll miss it so very much.  I can't believe I have to go home.  Dumb job... why do I have to have one of those?! ?!!!

But I love Ohio too.  I can't wait to hug my fam and see the pups and mess with the youth.  I love my job and my home and my life.  I love the gifts God has given me and the places he has led me to.

What a blessing.  To know that if I stay in Ohio or come back here, if I live in Idaho or China or anywhere in between that God has blessed and led and I have followed... that is all I seek.  I am so richly blessed to have two amazing homes, in two very different places, with very different people.  Two places that I love and cherish.  I will miss Brazil so very much.  I am so sad to see it be over... but I know it is always here and I will live thankful for the time I have been given.

I am blessed!!!