Looking down the barrel of 2009

I seriously can't believe that it is 2009. As I sat in Carrie's living room last night and the clock counted down the final seconds until the new year, it was the weirdest feeling. I am so excited for 2009... which is pretty rare for me. Usually I head into the new year with no really different feelings than any other night. However, sitting there last night, surrounded by new friends and old ones... I couldn't help but look at the new year with excitement.

For the first time in a long time I head into the new year with absolutely no idea of what the future will hold. I mean, sure, I have some plans in place... like Chrysalis later this month, Guatemala in March, Alaska and Brazil at some point... but I head into 2009 with some new things that I have learned about myself and life... like...

I have learned to hold loosely to things. I have still not learned the art of letting go... I still tend to have a hard time saying goodbye... but I have learned to hold loosely to things... to remember the temporary nature of things in this world and be able to embrace the here and now.

I have learned to live today. I have learned that tomorrow is not a guarantee... the good things in life may be worth waiting for, but they are also here right now... and I am learning to live them while I have them.

I have learned who I am and who I want to be... and I have learned that that awareness is important only when it is coupled with the desire to not be bent and twisted to what the world wants and sees as successful. I have learned that it is important to have my own two feet to stand on and my own measures of what is and is not important.

I have learned that success is not defined by how much money I make, the home I own or the clothes (and their size) that I wear. Success for me means that I will live the life that God has called me to regardless of the pay scale and define myself by the willingness to do what is right above what is popular.

I have learned that I am far more of an adventurer than most people will ever believe, a lot more committed than my ability to tell time implies, and undefinable by most people.

I have also learned that I need to grow a lot in my ability to be a good friend, employee, daughter and sister. I have learned that money will never be more important to me than a plane ticket and passport. I have learned that good friends come and go, but the best friends always come back around.

2009 is gonna be fine (as Dawn likes to say). I know this is true!! And I can feel the excitement of a new year, full of possibilities.

See you all in the new year!