Its a brand new year... and already I am overwhelmed by the number of important decisions I need to make, the amount of details there are to consider, the quantity of patience I need to posess. I am already tired of thinking so hard about things that could change everything.
Some days I wish that the most important decision could be what kind of coffee to order... but I haven't had a day like that in a long time.
People tell me often that it is because I am in need of a vacation... and I haven't taken one in a very, very long time... but my reality is that these decisions and thoughts and details would follow me where I go... and so taking a vacation is really only taking all the "junk" and transporting it to a new place.
SO often I think I have life figured out and I tell people the decisions I have made... only to have them fall through or fall apart... and somewhere in the mix I realize that I really need to stop praying to learn patience!! haha. No, really I learn that this whole thing is both much much bigger and much much smaller than I like to think. It's bigger than my hopes and dreams and plans and goals... and yet it is so much smaller and inconsequential that I can imagine... little puny me... so many struggles.
I am reading Crazy Love right now by Francis Chan. Yes, I realize I am on the tail end of what was a big reading craze, but HEY, I always do things in my own timing! Anyhoo, he talks about how stress and worry are just our ways of inflating our self importance and ceasing to rely on God. Oh Francis, thanks for kicking my butt again... love it... hate it!
Anyhoo. It's MOnday, I'm back in the grind of life after a fairly unmotivated and non-accomplishing holiday break. I need to focus. I need to be warm. I need to make these decisions...
coffee anyone? I could use some guidance!
10 years ago
