YAY!

It's a beautiful day. BEAUTIFUL!
Today I am going camping with Heidi... for my first night in my tent this season!!
Cruisin to camp with the sunroof open...
Camfire and food and friends...
Climbing trees all day Saturday...

I am BLESSED. YAY for the weekend!!!!

THIS STINKS

Know what stinks?

OK. Say its Tuesday afternoon and the weather is gross and rainy (maybe throw in some hail) and its just overall gloomy. Then say you wear your flip flops to work because it's APRIL darn it... and flip flops should be worn EVERY DAY starting in April... regardless of the low temps and gross weather.

Then say you get out your lovely salad for lunch *yummy* and crank up the floor heater to warm up the toes. (Seriously, this is one think I like about winter... nice warm toes under my desk!). Then, just say, you get to flipping through your piles of stuff on your desk while eating that yummy salad... and you knock it off between the window and desk... straight onto the top of the floorboard heater you just turned up to warm up the toes.

FETA CHEESE STINKS WHEN IT FALLS ON A HEATER. Seriously... and I CAN'T get it all out... and it is STINKING UP MY WHOLE OFFICE!!

IT STINKS!! ARGH!!!

Things I love... and things I don't...

Things I love….

-sitting here tonight… in the silent church. I am the only person at the prayer vigil… you could call it “holding down the fort” until midnight comes, but for me… it’s silence… and its BEAUTIFUL.

-Good Friday. Could be called the most depressing day of the Christian year… I don’t even subscribe to the “but Sunday is coming” bit. Nope. I love this day/night. The simplicity AND magnitude of the sacrifice and all that that holds in it. Sadness, peace, tragedy, and hope all wrapped in… in one overwhelming moment. BEAUTIFUL.

-Candlelight. Somehow I find candlelight to be the most amazing thing. I love that sense that you can be an imperfect mess in candlelight and at the same time, be so free. I love the candle lit sanctuary… especially tonight with the simple lanterns next to the empty cross… keeping watch. BEAUTIFUL.

Things I don’t love…

-knowing that the prayer vigil has just an hour or so left before it ends… and so few people got to experience it.

-feeling like a TOTAL freak for my love of the prayer vigil… and for my sadness that it will end tonight instead of 30 hours from now.

-not knowing what to do with Easter Saturday. Really. Jesus is crucified but not yet risen. What does one do with that day. For the last few years it made so much sense to observe it in the prayer vigil. Now I am confused!!

There you have the things that I love and things that I don’t… Good Friday version. Good Friday is so very odd to me in so many ways… and beautiful too. Today, on my way to the church I decided to stop for a new pair of jeans (since my old ones are… well… OLD and there was a good sale.) There was a mother and daughter fighting because the daughter wanted a black sweater to wear on Easter and her mom said that NO ONE wears black on Easter. Made me think… made me think about lots of things, but mostly how little it matters if you wear black on Easter. Seriously? Uh Christ is RISEN FROM THE DEAD and you are not wearing pastels? That’s what it’s about?

This year I am sad because our prayer vigil is only Friday night instead of lasting the whole weekend. There were lots of people who were upset with the decision to make it only one night (including me! I didn’t vote for that!!)… but in these quiet moments I realize the beauty is not in the vigil or silence or candlelight… the beauty is in the sacrifice… a sacrifice I don’t deserve and yet give my all to try to earn. Instead of trying so hard to earn it, I need to stop, and be silent and realize I never can… and yet I can give all I have and all I am on behalf of serving my Jesus.

Oh the contradictions!!

thinking....

This morning in staff meeting Tom shared his thoughts on this verse:
Luke 17: 10
"So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"

I used this verse once before... although I can't remember the context... when I was sharing a devotion with the youth (maybe!). Anyhoo... I don't always agree with Tom (the hazard of being a not at all conservative gal working with a fairly conservative pastor!), usually what he has to say does make me think though and today he had some interesting things to say about these verses, the idea of slavery versus servanthood and the debt of grace. (Seriously I bet you didn't think i was that deep of a thinker, but alas, I am!) In fact, I have gotten VERY little work done today. I have thought about this verse and the Dietrich Bonhoffer things he added to the devotion nearly all day.

I guess that's not a BAD thing... to be that distracted by the words of Christ... its not a common occurance for me... but today I am VERY distracted by these words... "We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty."

Am I living up to that? My heart desperately wants to....