In the driveway of the youth house there is a BEAUTIFUL tree. Every time I pull up the driveway to come into the office I see it. It is has pretty purple and white flowers and it seems to have bloomed out of nowhere. I wish I knew what kind of tree it is, but I don't. Today as I was looking for something in the front room I looked out and saw it. I thought, gosh, that tree is AMAZING... but it's beautiful flowers will be gone so quickly... replaced by normal green leaves... and I probably won't even think twice about it when I don't see it anymore.
Outside the window of my office, the fire circle that Kim and I built down by the tree line is covered in leaves still. We keep talking about cleaning it up so we can use it this summer... but we probably won't. We built it 2 summers ago and we still haven't had a single fire. We have the wood, the circle, the food to cook... we just never have the time or energy to do it.
I know of two people who are hiking the Appalachian Trail right now. They started in Georgia in mid-March and are somewhere north of the Smokies right now. I read their blog regularly to hear of their adventures and it makes me jealous. Partially because I have always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail (and I mean ALL 2000 miles of it.) and I don't think I will ever find someone who wants to go with me... and partially because there have been a lot of days lately when I have wanted nothing in the world more than I want to walk out the door, into the woods, and just not stop for 6 months or so. Nothing to do but walk and breathe and sleep and experience the beauty of God's creation.
Sometimes I feel like I am desperately searching for the next big adventure. I mean there are exciting things coming up in the next few months. Things I can't wait to experience, even if they don't seem like they are working out exactly how I pictured them. Yet it seems every time someone talks to me they ask me when the next big adventure or trip is and where I am headed. Right now I feel a bit lost when people ask...
I guess in some ways I am tired of the adventures. Another town or city, another beach or mountain... I am ready for a real journey. Not the kind that will last a little while and then fade into the past. I am ready for something epic. Something that will challenge the ways I live and change the ways I think. An epic journey. That's what I feel like I need.
Maybe it is just the traditional "it's spring so Carly has itchy feet."... but I don't think so. I feel so stuck. So safe. So blah. I want to feel alive. I want to live on the edge. I want to be purposeful and intentional and passionate. But I guess I am a little scared... or maybe a lot scared.
I think I need an epic journey... or a change of pace... or a new perspective... or a different path for a while... and a companion or two for the road (or trail!)
Anybody up for ditching life for a while???
**PS. Not depressed... just thinking.
